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Somehow, sleeps eludes me again…

My mind is not the issue… I’m not thinking about anything, I’m just sleepless. They say that my age is the reason. I’m not convinced of that and if it’s so, that’s just plain cruel. My kids kept me sleepless for the entirety of my 20’s, 30’s and into my 40’s. So now that I’m in my 50’s I should be kept awake because of fucked up hormones!? 


As I was lying in bed, sleepless.. I was listening to my little granddaughter snorffle and stir. Mira was spending the night with me, so two of my little pumpkins were under my roof. It’s amazing that I have this life and I am incredibly grateful for it and lately I started dreaming again… and that is amazing!

For years, I just stopped dreaming – seemed like I would burst if I thought about all the things I wanted and couldn’t manifest. My dreams required having money, of which (like most people) I didn’t have (Those kids I mentioned earlier, they ate a lot.)

Now I am dreaming again….

Where is this all going? Usually, my late night, early morning forays into the kitchen for coffee, creme and this old computer are for the Universe. I write, have written a ton for Source over the past 5 or so years, but of late, They have been radio silent. (You can find that under the Hanash-Tyrasea section of this site).

There’s a shift happening in my life and that seems to be part of it. Wonder what will come next… and tonight, this writing… it’s all me. The weird part about that is that once I started having the ability to translate other’s soul’s voice (totally freaky, weird shit), I stopped having so much noise in my own head. Therefore, I am not really thinking about anything (shouldn’t I be??), but I am wide awake. (Well, to be 100% honest, what I did think quite a bit about was the rational act of getting out of bed, or remaining in it while not sleeping.)

Ok, ok… the title of this post is “Legacy” and that should be what I start to say something about.

Without a doubt, my reason for breathing in and out for all these years has be be for some remarkable reason. In a snapshot view of my life, certainly my children are probably a good reason to do that, but establishing a legacy shouldn’t stop at my uterus, right?! I mean, if I had all the money and all the time I would ever need, how would I spend my time? Would I party on a beach in Fiji or do something more meaningful than drink endless glasses of  MaiTai’s? Again, being completely transparent… I’d definitely like to party on a beach somewhere exotic but that would definitely get old fast. 

Funny thing is, freedom to travel or contribute to other’s lives meaningfully is not always forthcoming. We also have to have some extra money. 

As I climbed the stairs with Mira to put her into bed, she made a comment about where her mama and papa were. Both of them were working. She then asked me why they were working, of which I said, “Because they need to earn money. It doesn’t just come in our pockets without earning it.”

She clearly didn’t think much of my statement, but I kinda felt sick to my stomach. I actually SAW that I was potentially planting a belief into my little granddaughter’s mind. Forget that for most of us this is a true statement, it bugged me.

Things are often delivered to my awareness before anything happens; a dream or just a thought will be so clear and I still find that I think it’s total hogwash, but I’ve learned to be fairly obedient around this ’cause if I don’t, all hell breaks loose.

A few years ago, I somehow stumbled onto a product via Facebook, bought it and started to use it and then dreamt that I MUST sign up and do the business. WHAT!? 

 “No Way, Not Never, NOT. FOR. ME.” (this is what my inner voice was saying to Source). But, as I mentioned earlier, I’ve become quite the obedient servant to Truth (not some Christian thing, but the Real Deal… and that’s not bashing Christianity at all), so I signed up.

Keep in mind, I didn’t know why I needed to do this thing, I only knew that it was guidance from something much greater than my little mind.

End of story.

Now, some months later, since that fateful day of signing on to sharing a skin care line (of which there was only one product), I’m totally clear about why me, why at that particular time.

My legacy is expanding… They want me to have more than enough to support myself, my kids, their kids and at least one of my teachers. Cool…

Where at first I thought that people would just judge me, now I understand that people are waiting for me… Just to share. 

What I’m up to remains being a servant for Truth. Truth that isn’t about any particular dogmatic view of spirit, but the overflowing, abundant zest for joy that Truth is actually all about. All religions, at their very fundamental level (i.e. from the prophet’s, guru’s, horse’s mouth) are about love. Nothing more.

There are no other elements that mean much, even if there’s an extremely potent Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindi … whatever, person in you, saying that this scripture or passage is the “word of God” and it’s unique… That’s cool, but ultimately it’s the same message. Be Love.

So, I peddle skin care in practical sense, but honestly what I peddle is spiritual awakening and if you have enough money in your pocket; you… little ol’ you… will be extremely generous and therefore change the world.


This is my deeper legacy and adds to the amazing legacy you see at the beginning of this post. My babies… some are direct descendants and have a smidge of my DNA in them, two are simply children I consider my own, but we share no biology. The vast nature of a heart is not exclusive due to blood lines. The heart lines mean as much. A legacy is about the impact we make on our children, their children and the children of the world.

What is your legacy? Ask me, I may be able to help you!




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