None of us seem to be completely immune to the clown show this election has delivered, which is not actually funny, but frightening. In a country where “family values” has been paraded around for years as the meter and method for living, the political party that trumpets the “family value” card has a man running for the office of the President who is the opposite. For as long as I’ve known of him, he has ALWAYS shown up as someone who takes whatever he wants without apology and doesn’t seem to be able to live by human values or decency standards, much less family ones (this has become glaringly obvious and factual, not merely political heresay, positioning or even just my opinion). His campaign has been worse than troubling.
Do I believe she would be a good leader? Quite possibly, but I also believe she’ll be crucified by the other side, no matter what she does if elected.
We have two individuals from very different backgrounds, going head to head to win the Presidency & after months of this spectacle, most of us are exhausted. As of last week, most women (and many men) are reeling and nauseated. Many of us are experiencing flashbacks involving recovered memories and crippling shame in relation to events in our lives that we have buried. My personal experience of sexual and personal degradation was persistent through out my early years. The other persistent experience was that NO ONE listened me about it, so I stopped saying much.
My father knew, after the fact, when he pompously told me that rape was an almost impossible crime to prove (he was a lawyer at one time). I asked him if he would feel differently is one of his 7 daughters was the victim. He said, well he’d have to consider it differently then. So I said, “Start considering”.
My first husband, he knows, because we found out that if he reached over to me while I was sleeping there was a good chance I’d either hit him, or launch sideways out of bed in terror.
My sons know because I told them; I may have forced them to listen so they would have some idea how women feel. My desire to raise thoughtful men was one good outcome for all that bullshit…
My current husband knows because he was raised in a family where there wasn’t a sense of his mother being “less” then his father. They both worked, they both tended to he and his sister. Things were balanced in his life. Because he didn’t really understand why I was such a staunch, unblinking feminist, the back story of my personal experiences helped him see what the difference between being a privileged, white man, and an “any color, woman” was.
What I didn’t talk about was; the time I stumbled onto a man doing his business (messing with himself) between parked cars by the library (I was 13). Didn’t say anything when my swimming coach seduced my best friend during practice (we were both 14, he was almost 30). Didn’t say anything when riding my bike home from practice and a car full of men pulled over and made fun of my big (muscular) legs. Didn’t say anything when my typing teacher took my friend into the closet to molest her after class (she was 16 and left school, never came back and I have NO idea what happened to her. The rest of us had to keep going to class for 6 more months with that same teacher). Didn’t say anything when a paramour of my mother’s cornered me and gave me a disgusting, old man sloppy kiss (I was 16). As to my more violent experiences; I didn’t report those either. My experiences were repeated and awful, but I kept believing & thinking… they were somehow my fault;
“If I hadn’t gone out on that date and complained of a headache, he never would’ve given me that drug.”
“If I hadn’t been so scared and run away, my boyfriend wouldn’t have hurt me so bad…”
“If my boobs weren’t so big, guys wouldn’t make fun of me or try to grab them… ”
ON and ON and on… and on. The reason women are coming out of the closet now is because we now realize that we were never alone, even though we always felt that way.
We’ve found out that there’s a world full of traumatized women and many are reliving their worst nightmares right now because of this man we have to see in the news, DAILY, happens be a lot like the abusive, hateful, entitled assholes we have all had to deal with. Then, adding insult to injury, our fellow citizens… our sisters, even… still want him to be our country’s leader!
Millions of women have suffered from domestic violence, rape, assault, being groped and pushed around. We’ve are often blamed for it, too. And we have felt the shame of sexism since before we were old enough to bear children. For as long as I can remember, it’s all been considered “no big deal”, or that we were over reacting… it’s just how men are, or as Trump said, just your run of the mill “locker room talk” and we’re just a bunch of wimpy whiners.
To top that off, we are silenced. Repeatedly.
Without possessing a penis, I can’t imagine that men would appreciate having their private part grabbed by a female stranger, or if he got really drunk and a woman took him behind a dumpster, took his clothes off and tried to penetrate his butt… he may feel violated.
Maybe they’d like it… but most of the men I know would be really freaked out! So, that’s why you keep hearing us ask why its ok to do to women?!
Listening to the various news clips, audio recordings and reading the commentary about all this has definitely messed up my inner calm and forced me to take a new approach to how much it hurts to be treated that way.
Probably much worse than all of that, is how accustomed & numb I have been to it.
Much like how we adjust our movements in order to function when our physical body is wounded , I’m very aware of all the small and large adjustments I’ve had to make to be productive in my life. Currently I’m limping around, feeling stunned, crying at nothing and generally acting like I’m suffering from PTSD. The constant avoidance of pain that’s gone on internally for the bulk of my life, is no longer buried… & it does hurt – a lot! Honestly I’m moving between outrage and joy.
Outrage that I have felt so compromised for such a long, long time. Joy that I can release the pain and heal. Finally!
None of us are victims, but most women have felt like it at one time or another and pretty much expect to be treated like just a ‘piece of ass”.
This election is kind of like an enema for the world. Collectively we’re experiencing a good deal of expulsion and the horrible discovery of the vile, infectious & putrified contents of our nation’s inner workings. My prayers are that this major “shit” is thorough and we actually start making significant changes in our world, rather than become collectively complacent and ignore it all over again.
There are millions of people in this country; a truly diverse display of humans. All colors, beliefs, religions and lifestyles live here, yet a loud and obnoxious egocentric group wants us to believe that only a few of our number matter. Of course, this can’t be true and if so, will that mean that we must follow new laws. Laws that disregard our individual rights for expression or ones that discount our personal value!!?? With the publication of Nate Silver’s article about how women voters are defeating D.T., his supporters began screaming about getting rid of the 19th amendment (that’s the one that gave women the vote). Whoa! Seriously!?
There are people here, right now, who want something like that!? What would be the next thing they’d get rid of – or add?
What really shocked me was reading some of the comments on social media and specifically the commentary about the19th Amendment subject. The consistent use of foul, demeaning, horrible language in expressing their views was staggering, but worse was how personal they were. Comments that were not just cruel and lewd, they were specifically directed at the person sharing the original post.
This seems to indicate there’s a fairly large portion our population who thrive on hatred and vitriol and now have a platform where all manner of ugliness is allowed, encouraged and actually getting a lot of air time – like their leader. Not a shred of respect or intelligence was present for 89% of the people commenting, many of them women but definitely a lot of men.
Seen through the lens of universal awareness it’s glaring that we are being forced to face up to a few things.
- the divine feminine is a threat (as are women) and it (we) need to be silenced
- all people ARE NOT created equal under current world standards
- power is more important than truth
These are all ego driven perspectives. When we are anchored in our soul we aren’t prone to believing these emotions at all. But here they are. Bold, unflinching & hate filled commentary about basic human rights, are now being lauded as truth. Currently and because of the ongoing, persistent and tyrannical views being expressed through and to us, we just cannot ignore how the world has been operating.
We can get angry, lash out, respond in kind or we can learn how to become spiritual warriors.
The word “democracy” (from the Greek) literally means “rule of the commoners”. In this country, the principles of truth and equality are written in both the Declaration of Independence and our Constitution, but in some ways we are still trying to perfect the ideals of those men who initiated this country. Regardless of our childlike beginnings as a country, most of the world does look towards the United States as an example of something.
Right now, we have become an example of “what not to do”.
And as to religion… Frankly, I don’t believe that it matters what your religion is, NONE of them are about hatred. The male dominated & political interpretations of religions are, but not the essence. At the root of all religions, there is a thread of tremendous similarity; “The Golden Rule, Love Thy Neighbor, Speak Truth, It is More Blessed to Give than to Receive, As Above, So Below, etc. etc. These principles are shown to be common to all religions.
No matter what you believe, in terms of the practice, It all comes back to love.
Being a warrior is exemplified by millions of people living amongst us now. They signed up to defend and protect our country and have offered up their lives, inner peace and health to do so. They are not whiners, they follow orders and show up for things most of us would never do. They don’t do this for recognition, but because they feel called to. They do this regardless of the fact that they won’t be provided for or given much more than lip service about how appreciated they are once their tour (or tours) of duty are up.
A spiritual warrior is similar… but rather than having the order come from a superior or general, orders come from inside. From a much deeper wisdom. A spiritual warrior is someone who understands the difference between the ego and the soul. They first try to ask questions rather than simply making “right/wrong” judgments or statements. They strive to be all that they are, not what others want them to be. They learn how to master the tendency to go along with what’s normal or even expected, and strive always for the truth instead. Generally, they are not very popular, because they rub a lot of people the wrong way. Still, they tend towards humility and are often simply committed to serving others. They don’t take as much as they give, they don’t ask for recognition for what they do, and many have lost their health or their lives pursuing this calling.
And, all of them do not use violence to get their point across.
Their only weapon is persistent, consistent, determined, unfailing and unconditional love.
As we move through this time, uncovering the deep and infected wound of disregard and hatred the spectacle of the U.S. 2016 Presidential election is stirring up, some of us are compelled to be bigger creeps, more hateful and intensely angry.
Some of us are being inspired to be the opposite.
A spiritual warrior means you don’t bite back when someone spews all over you. It also means you speak up, even if you offend some of the people you may care for and definitely a lot you have no obvious relationship with. A spiritual warrior remembers that there’s the fine line between preaching and sharing, but warriors keep trying to get a message out with love. (Love does not always mean being nice, either).
They ask themselves … “who am I being?”, rather than analyzing “what’s wrong with him/her?”
They remember they are not better than anyone; even that ignorant, fearful, angry neighbor over there. Remembering that helps them to ask the question, “What would love do, now?”
“Love” takes her hand off the hot stove and gets away from it. Nothing said will change anyone’s mind unless they want it to changed, so she stops trying to do that. She draws a firm line in the sand about what she is willing to endure, no longer sticking around for abuse from anyone. She states her position if necessary and then stops talking and moves away.
We are strongest when we notice what’s going on & adjust ourselves so there’s some space between us and an aggressor. There’s really nothing that’s accomplished by screaming at someone and yelling in their face. That is less intense than standing away from them and calmly pointing all your energy towards them, using simple words and being 100% clear about where you stand. Then you leave.
Remember the last debate when Trump stalked Hillary with menace. That was scary to me. He didn’t do his normal blustering, ugly, interrupting, yelling thing but just glared at her back and used his energy body to get his message across.
Rather than being menacing, take the same stance and express your true weapon of truth, love and compassion… with a little distance.
Courage is required to speak up, but it’s worth it. Just look at the comments Michelle Obama got for the viral video of her speech in New Hampshire last week. A lot were wonderful, but there were more that were just awful. And regardless of her position, she’s suffered from this treatment for years, knows it will occur and said it all anyway.
Michelle’s speech offered an excellent example of what love does. She was not just being political in that speech, she was impassioned, powerful, emotional and very, very much a human. Less a politician in that speech than I’ve ever heard her. She shook me up and lit a fire in my belly, reminding me of how things are for women and made me feel things I didn’t want to remember, much less relive.
My greatest desire is to stop feeling stunned and raw. For now, I just want the imagery to stop, the heart racing to slow, the dry eyes to moisten up and my sleep to be peaceful… I want to wake up with joy again and have an easy time in my meditations, rather than hearing all the negative self talk that is regurgitating itself right now.
It’s not fun, but healing usually isn’t. My greatest succor is that I have millions of companions in this particular recovery… the world community of women who have a similar story to my own.
Love steps up, takes a position, doesn’t get personal, remains direct… and never ever stops. Love is the world’s heartbeat and behaves the same way. Relentless, persistent, consistent and true.
Goddess bless us, God bless us, Earth bless us, Moon bless us, Muhammad bless us, Buddha bless us, Shakti & Shiva bless us, White, Green, Red Tara bless us, Jesus bless us, Mama bless us…
Please bless us all so that we can rise up in our full colors, without apologizing or shrinking away. That we can heal this gaping hole in our world sooner, rather than later.